I have a good feeling about this month. I don’t know why. I’m pretty pessimistic when it comes to trying to conceive but my subconscious knows something. Or maybe I’m tricking my subconscious into thinking it knows something. Either way, things just feel different. Or maybe I’m just wishing that things will feel different. I don’t know. Everytime I choose to not get my hopes up, my ability to not get pregnant just confirms things.
I’m only 2dpo and my symptoms are stupid. Going to bed and waking up sneezing means absolutely nothing. This stupid cramp in my left leg (the side where I ovulated from) means absolutely nothing. The heaviness in my uterus and vagina mean nothing. It’s too early for anything to mean something, yet making unseemly connections to things that aren’t even there isn’t going to help anyone. Least of all me.
But then we have the curious case of the missing semen. Where did it go?? If there was even half a chance that every last drop went inside me, I’d happily close the case as solved and expect a baby but what goes up must come down. And as far as I know, liquids aren’t immune to gravity. This will be an interesting two weeks, to say the least. Having symptoms is fun. Even if they mean nothing. I just don’t want that disappointment to hit harder than it usually does…