Happy new year and whatnot.
I’m still alive. Didn’t manage to off myself.
In two weeks, we begin again. We went back to Telisland for New Year’s and did some fertility tests while we were there. Everything came back normal, except for Telis‘ semen analysis, which showed low sperm count.
I still don’t believe that low sperm count would be the reason why we can’t conceive. Like, that can’t be just it. But whatever.
2022 ended with the usual bullshit that I faced for most of that year. I got into two car accidents, one in November, one in December. The November accident rendered my car insurance policy cancelled but I didn’t realise it was cancelled, so I was still driving around. Then I got into an accident in December where someone drove into the back of my car and completely destroyed it. That’s when I found out I was uninsured. Anyway, that got sorted after the insurance company investigated the miscommunication and found that they hadn’t made it clear to me that my insurance policy was cancelled. So they covered me for that accident. We now have a new car. It’s much bigger than my previous car but I really enjoy driving it.
Anyway, Telis and I finally had our honeymoon and my joint 30th birthday in Thailand. It was an amazing experience except for what happened on my birthday. I’m actually still traumatised by it and I still get flashbacks with a jolt of fear.
Not sure if it’s even a story worth telling. All I can say is that it involved what we thought was weed, a fall and a stupid amount of paranoia. I won’t relive that ever again.
My due date has come and gone. I can’t even say I’m sad. I’m just meh. This next IVF cycle, we’ll be putting two embryos back in. I don’t want to think of the possibility that it won’t work. We’ll be doing the cycle in Telisland, so I’ll be flying out just before my period is due. They’ll stim me with a higher dose than my first cycle. The doctor said I probably had a bit of drug resistance, possibly due to my polycystic ovaries (without the syndrome), hence why my follicles weren’t growing quickly enough in that cycle. They’re aiming to get 15 to 20 eggs so I’ll be high risk of OHSS, which means I won’t be able to do a fresh transfer. I’ll have to skip a month, to let my body recover and then do the transfer, probably in April but I wouldn’t mind March either, if we’re allowed.
I just need this year to be better. Telis is facing job insecurity right now. He’s due to be made redundant, so he’s super stressed. I’m trying to stay employed so at least we have my salary to keep us afloat. I did an exam for work and passed, and now I’m looking to do more exams, just to keep and look busy.
I started a buying and selling business and I’ve been making a healthy amount of side income! But it’s not enough, I want more! I want to be wealthy, so I’m looking for other ways to make more money. We need the financial security, especially since there’s never safety in a job.
Bailey just went through her second IVF cycle. Five eggs retrieved, all mature. Three fertilised. All subpar quality. Two didn’t progress and there was one struggling. They put the struggling one back into her anyway and now we wait! I just hope that a warm, nutritious uterus is all that little embryo needs.
My fear is that I’ll get left behind. Or that I’ll succeed and she’ll get left behind. We’ve been on this journey together for so long. I want both of us to win, together. I just want some good news.
I guess the countdown to IVF round two begins.