So a guy I work with called Brown came over to my desk for a quick natter. So there is history between me and this guy. Nothing explicit. But probably a year before he started working at my workplace we met. Online. On a dating site. We talked here and there. I eventually ghosted him because he’d take at least two days to reply to my messages.
I met him once while he was still working in the Apple store. My friend had an iPhone and I said we should pretend it was broken so we could go into the store and see him. Anyway I saw him and wasn’t impressed in the slightest. He wasn’t for me.
Anyway months later I turn up at work and there he is. Shocker! And awkwardness.
This is my life through and through.
So today we got talking and found out we were into the same things, like anime, sci-fi, fantasy, rock music, etc. Another black person who is like me! He told me his friends are also into the same things and I was like, wow! They exist. So I told him to bring me into his friendship circle. So here’s hoping I actually make black friends who share the same interests as me.
The last time I really had a community of black nerds was in university. How I miss it so. I belonged.
I’ve really struggled with penetrating the black community here in Deraland. Hopefully Brown is that door.
Do you know why I named him Brown? So I think he noticed I hung around with white colleagues a lot and probably assumed I was dating one of them. Anyway he started asking me questions like whether I’d switched to the other team, i.e. started dating white people. Then as our conversation concluded, he told me to ‘stay brown’ – basically telling me not to forget my roots (as a black person). Ok.
I was shocked. Like I can date whoever the hell I want. Me staying “brown” doesn’t get negated by the fact that I spend time with white people. Anyway, my next boyf will probably be white. Brown’s opinion is irrelevant.
I’ve been feeling a little bit melancholic. I think just reading or watching romantic shit just reminds me of my own singleness. I’m comfortable single. And I know I keep saying that. I’m not trying to convince myself otherwise. But my dream is still to fall in love and settle down – that doesn’t make me a weak person.
I’m just holding tight because my person will come along. I’ve only been single a month so I need to be patient.