We’re making a baby!
But before that, this has been an emotionally turbulent weekend. Except for it being my birthday and me celebrating it in Paris, I was pretty sad for the most part.
I spent most of my days questioning my attraction to Telis and I was ready to break up with him over it. I even started drafting a letter. The journey there and the journey back was pretty detrimental to our relationship. I was in a bad mood on Thursday anyway but I think I disliked him to the point where I didn’t want him to touch me. I’m not a shallow person but I know that attraction definitely counts for something and when you find yourself questioning your attraction to your other half perhaps it’s time to walk away. So of course, the pushing away begin. But enough of that…
I’m 26!
I spent my birthday at the Eiffel Tower and around Paris. It was nice. I caught up on a lot of much needed sleep too! It was exactly what both Telis and I needed – just some rest. On Saturday there was a massive protest around Paris and a lot of damage was wrought around the city but Telis and I spent the day at the Christmas market, which was probably the safest place to be on that day.
I do love him. I’m not a fan of his weight, but I love him, and that brings me to making a baby.
I’m meeting with HR this afternoon at work. I don’t know what they’re going to tell me. Perhaps they’re going to make me redundant, who knows, either way if I do end up staying then I think getting pregnant will protect me on some fronts. I know this isn’t a good enough reason to make a baby but I want on either way and I feel ready.
Whether or not it’s Telis I should be making the baby with is another question, especially since I borderline almost broke up with him this weekend. Anyway, the universe brought us together so maybe I should trust in that and go make me my baby with the man that I love.
He is so good to me. He’s the perfect example of what a man is and I’d like him to bring up my children with me because he’d be the perfect father and role model.
I’m a bit nervous because it’s a baby. But it’s my baby and whatever happens, I’ll strive hard to make sure they have the best upbringing that I can afford. I’m at my most fertile over the next few days so it’s right now or next month.
If that pregnancy test shows up positive, I might just die from excitement and fear!
I have been applying for jobs. I’d like to stay in Deraland with Telis and since I can drive now I’ll be able to look for jobs in and around Deraland. I’ve been looking at cars and I know what I want – a Renault Clio 2010 +. I’ve driven two already and I really love how comfortable they are. I can’t wait to have my car. And if I’m planning to have a baby I need to gain enough driving experience to be a safe driver.