3 days post 5 day embryo transfer (3dp5dt) and here I am. Expectations are at zero. I had cramping on both 1dp- and 2dp5dt, but now – nothing. Oh well, good thing I don’t want kids, eh?
I’m just not feeling any excitement, or apprehension even. I just don’t see the point in children anymore. I mean, look at the downsides; no sleep, no money, no rest, constant worry. I think I’m happy with my two cats, they’re amazing and I adore them. They give me plenty of love and I feel fulfilled through knowing and loving them. They’re everything.
My mum is so excited, she probably thinks it’s a done thing but I know disappointment and I kind of feel bad for her. All she has to do is think of a man to fall pregnant so embryo in stomach is a sure thing for her. For me, yeah… no.
I’m kind of over it anyway.
But to update on my numbers, I ended up with three blastocysts good enough for transfer and freezing so one is currently in me and the other two are chilling on ice.
This IVF cycle was funded by our health service so I can’t even say I’m anything but grateful. Even if I got zero blastocysts, the failed cycle would at least gear me up for a second retrieval with better control of my stimulation meds and protocol.
I just need to breathe a huge sigh of not relief. Just something to release my pent up tension. I just want to know if it worked or not. I might not be so emotionally invested but I still do want positive results, even if I think I don’t.
I blew my nose today and blood, so yeah, hormones baby!