I’m tired and frustrated. I really can’t be bothered. I’ve been symptom spotting all week and now I feel ridiculous. What’s the point of even pretending I could be pregnant, that the symptoms aren’t in my head? I don’t think I can get pregnant naturally – I should be so lucky… Let me just focus on my life. We’ll book an appointment in a few months time and get the fertility treatment started. I know I’m infertile, I don’t know why I allowed myself to feel some hope. This cycle did feel different and I didn’t want to get all depressed over my lack of baby making abilities so I gave in to the excitement and now it’s all been for nothing. My temps aren’t giving anything away… I’ve basically flatlined, just like my hope.
This is fucking depressing. I can’t do it anymore. Cycle 6 soon and if I was over 35, I’d be expected to see a fertility specialist.