So yesterday we did get back together.
I went to collect my things from his place, i.e. my book and earrings.
He said he only asked one thing of me: to talk to him. Talk to him and not make decisions for the both of us. But I made the decision to leave. And he made the decision for us to get back together, with my reluctant consent.
I definitely suffer from relationship anxiety. I don’t feel the full extent of my emotions anymore. I blame my relationship with Igor. It was 4 months of self-delusion and darkness. I want to remove that part of my life. It’s the worst part.