I’m on the plane back home. I thought I’d use this time to write some updates. The most pressing one being my period.
I’m currently 15 days late but this morning I had a bit of spotting. I was wiping and there was a tiny bit of barely-there blood on the tissue.
And that was it.
I thought the flow would continue but I guess not. Usually when I spot prior to my period starting, it’s continuous until the blood starts flowing in earnest. I actually got excited to see red, but alas, it was not as it seemed.
I’ve been having anxiety over this. I’m not even sleeping properly. I went on holiday to relax and instead all I did was stress over my missing period. It’s fine. I told Telis that I was spotting but not to cancel the doctors appointment tomorrow until my period actually started. I’m now convinced that I’m not pregnant. There’s just no way I could be. But why the morning after pill would affect my ovaries is beyond me.
I’m actually really nervous about seeing the doctor. And even more nervous to take a pregnancy test. If I take one and it’s positive, then that’s a whole new something to think about. If it’s negative, I know I’ll be slightly disappointed but I’d be more concerned that there’s something else wrong with me.
I’d love to have a baby with Telis. I know we haven’t been together long but I love him and he’d be an amazing father. He’s so amazing. I’d start a family with him in a heartbeat. If I am pregnant, I wouldn’t be sad. I’d be excited. I’d be starting a life with the man I love. We’d have our own little family. Nothing more amazing than that.
On Tuesday, my sister, Tas, and I did some water sports. It was fun. We rode on a jet boat with my sister driving, a flying fish ride and a parachute thing. The flying fish is basically an inflatable thing you sit on and hold onto tight while a speedboat drags you along. Tas and I both flew off it and ended up in the middle of the sea. It was so funny! We had to drag each other back onto the flying fish thing. Haha! We saved each other’s lives!
Then yesterday we went on a day trip with the parents. It was nice exploring the country. I managed to finally buy some bookmarks. I have a thing where I buy bookmarks from every country I visit. Even Telis bought me a few when he travelled last month. I’m planning on having a collection. Bookmarks are my thing because I read a lot.
I took a lot of what Telis bought me on his trip with me on my holiday; the two earrings, the cute little backpack and the purse. I have the best boyfriend. I can’t wait to see him tonight. We’ll be waking up early tomorrow to catch our flight to Telisland so we’d have to sleep early but even sleeping next to him will be more than enough for me.
I’ve never had anxiety sleeping next to him. I don’t know how he has such a calming effect over me. I love him loads. I want to give so much to him but all I can do is be the best girlfriend and love and support him wholeheartedly. I even want to meet his family, I’m nervous but they’re already so lovely to me; his mother wanted to greet me on the phone the other day to help put me at ease but I ran away. But I’m definitely looking forward to meeting them. I’m even trying to be good enough with my Telisan so I can communicate a little bit with them in their own language. Plus, they’re going to be my family soon and this weekend, getting to know them will be my priority. I hope they like me.
I guess we’ll find out tomorrow.