Thursday, 8 March, 2018

Happy International Women’s Day!

As a woman, it’s important we find the strength to stand up for ourselves and demand that we are treated with respect.

When I slept with that Mexican guy who completely violated the consent I gave him I made sure that I made him know how what he did made me feel and then cancelled him. That was the last time I ever spoke to him.

Treat me like shit and I will remove you from every part of my life.

Because I have respect for myself, I will never put myself in a situation to be further disrespected.

Last night, I was shown a complete disregard for my feelings and that will not ever in my life be tolerated.

Igor is cancelled.

And I feel fucking good.

I’d rather be a fool than sit there and have a man treat me like one.

Au revoir bitch.

* * *

I just gave a speech at work for International Women’s Day and I killed it! To be honest, I was feeling very confident. Liberated. Free.

Knowing that I have the power to choose who can walk in and out of my life is invigorating. I feel like the strong, independent woman I am and I don’t need no shitty arse man to validate me.

Today is a good day.

* * *

Crying is emotionally draining. I had plans to start a new craft project but I just don’t have the energy.

It probably seems silly crying because you think you’re ugly, but I just didn’t like myself and I was sad about it. I don’t look particularly attractive today either but yesterday, I’d just straightened my hair, hoping for an improvement but I looked even worse and I felt like there was no hope.

I’m ok now. I’ve cried all the tears that I need to cry. I just want to focus on me for the next few months. Having an external party go through the ups and downs of your emotional rollercoaster with you isn’t the best thing.

I need to reach emotional equilibrium then I’ll be fine.

He messaged me but I’m just not emotionally ready to explain why being called an idiot and being shown nothing but coldness is not ok. And him saying that I didn’t respond to him when I asked him what was wrong is completely false because when I told him I was ugly, he said I should go and see my doctor about my skin.

Anyway, whatever. I just want to sleep.