What an absolute shit show of a day.
The IUI didn’t happen.
Telis turned up, produced a sample, left, came back, produced another sample, all for an IUI that wouldn’t be done because his initial numbers were abysmal and his second even worse.
His total count was 6.6 million. In December it was 300 million.
After washing of the semen, the total motile count was 180,000. So yeah, no point wasting money on an insemination, I’m going home.
I’m shocked at the huge reduction in numbers. My fucking follicles should have been the least of my concerns.
But exactly 72 days ago, it was 29th November 2021. He had used the sauna a few times and I’m thinking maybe the heat pretty much killed all his baby sperm, which obviously would have matured and released around this time.
But, if not the sauna, then maybe the antibiotics he took in December.
And if not that, then maybe we’re just cursed and any attempt to have a child will be rebuffed.
I can’t even be mad. I should have expected anything and everything to go wrong. I’m at fault for thinking life would provide some leniency but no, it’s just gone full bitch on us. An unrelenting, heartless, sadistic, sociopathic bitch. I can’t even be bothered trying with this shit anymore. I just can’t imagine anything working out for us at this point.
I’m really tired of this life.
Life has made it perfectly clear that we shouldn’t be trying for kids. Maybe I’m the fool for not saying enough is enough. I’m so tired. So maybe enough is enough.
I ovulated a few hours ago. I could feel it. We did have sex, but if there’s no sperm then we’re really just wasting our time.
Sex is a waste of time. IUI was clearly a waste of time. IVF will probably be a waste of time. I just don’t see any hope for us. I’m not sure what we did to deserve this but I’m done asking for forgiveness. It’s made no difference and whatever we do or try doesn’t and won’t work so maybe we should just wave the white flag and surrender.
Spare ourselves the heartache and call it a day.