Shhh… Don’t tell anyone but I…
Think… I’m…
Pregnant!
What? Well basing it solely on my symptoms it could be pregnancy but it could also be PMS so I don’t want to get ahead of myself.
But there could be a baby inside of me. My own little human, growing inside my body.
I so want this to be true! I want this so bad. Here’s hoping.
* * *
I was wrong.
* * *
I’m not pregnant. I’m stupid to think that I could be. What’s even the point of feeling hopeful. I’m walking straight into cycle 6 as nothing more than a statistic now. I don’t even think I can cry. I keep imagining that there’s still a chance, but I’m not stupid. I’ve never felt my cervix be so textbook periody. Low, hard and very open. With so much blood my period might as well have started. I just want to sleep and not bother with this week anymore. I’m tired. Even thinking about having sex again next cycle is breaking my heart. How long will I have to do this for? I just feel so betrayed by my body.