Friday, 10 August, 2018

How good does it feel to be loved and be in love? Telis is everything I knew I wanted and everything I never knew I needed. It’s just so nice to feel desired. It’s touching knowing there’s someone out there who will do anything for you. I love him. I really do.

I was at his place on Wednesday evening and he left me to go and have dinner with his colleagues. I waited and waited for him, I even took out his washing, made his bed and packed his suitcase for him, but I got tired of waiting and left. I messaged him that I was leaving then went to my place to do my own thing. Some time after midnight, as I was trying to sleep, he called me and asked if he could come over and sleep over at my place that night because he wanted to see me in the morning. I just love that he likes me so much and wants to be around me. This is all I’ve ever wanted; for a man to want to do anything to have me. Telis wants me and fought to make me his and it just makes me feel warm inside.

I haven’t felt it, but I do feel it now, he is my person. My forever person. I wasn’t so sure before because I did everything to avoid being with him, but sometimes, you know what you want before you know what you want – as in, subconsciously I knew that he is everything but my conscious mind completely disregarded him. I love him. It’s so weird.

He’s on holiday now for two weeks. I knew I really did love him when I borderline cried yesterday as he said goodbye to me. I might even cry now writing this. I’m going to miss him. Our relationship is simple but it means a lot to me. He is nothing like what I was expecting, but maybe that’s what’s good about him.

I know mutually falling in love is silly, but him and I, we are predestined, preordained and fated to be. He’s mine forever. I think we’ll be getting married in less than two years time, but I suspect it’ll be more like less than a years time. I know he’s mine and he knows I’m his, and I don’t mind spending forever with him. I’m happy.

The universe listened…

* * *

There is one trait that both my exes had that I really hated and it was their victim mentality. Nothing was ever their fault and it drove me crazy. Jomi blamed so many things and people for how shitty his existence was and Igor used his constant feeling sorry for himself to manipulate me. Compared to those two, Telis is a man. An actual man. He works hard, he’s dependable and he actually takes responsibility for what goes on in his life. I’m so stress free with him. I’m already an anxious person, but he just calms me down. It took a bit of time for me to get to this point, but with his help, I’m in a much better place with him. I haven’t felt like running away from him and even when I do try to push him away, he stands firmly by me and tells me he’s not going to leave me. That’s a man right there. I’m ready to share my life with him.