Today, my breasts feel the worst that they’ve ever felt in my whole life. During the lead up to my period, my breasts can choose to swell up and hurt me like a bitch or not hurt me at all. I’m a little girl with big boobs so I’m used to having unconventional sized balloons on my chest and it’s great when they don’t hurt, in fact, Igor loves them and I love that he loves them. Touch them the right way and new levels of lubrication can be reached.
But today they feel more like a curse than anything else. Forget the fact that I’m wearing a bra that’s three sizes too small (story for another day), the pain is unbearable. They feel like they want to burst free and the pressure they’re exerting on my bra is causing all types of aches. I can’t even deal. No, I can’t even walk. Even the slightest movement is like hell-to-the-no. They’re so swollen I feel like they’re going to explode. BANG! Boob fat everywhere.
Women suffer on the daily and still get shit done. Men really have no excuse. They are so fortunate that every single appendage on their body is finding ways to cause them discomfort.
What I need is a breast reduction. I’m definitely getting one if they get bigger during pregnancy. I’m pretty good at hiding the size of my breasts. When they started getting bigger, I adopted a more conservative sense of fashion, as in, I wore non-fitted, baggy, oversized tops. Even Igor was surprised at my body. Apparently to him, I was just this girl who dressed like a boy but underneath it all was this sexy body. I like that. Element of surprise and whatnot.
I have an alright body. I’m not anorexic but I am a US 6/UK 8/EU 36 on average. Up top I’m probably a size above and down low a size below. Bra size I’m a US 30J/UK 30GG/EU 65K. So overall I’m built uniquely. But aren’t we all. The only annoying thing about my body is that I look like a straight line. I have no waist or hips so I’m basically the letter I with boobs. Cute.
I’ve been feeling so motivated these past few days. I have such big plans for myself. I can’t wait to get successful. I’m aiming for 100,000 followers on social media channels by the end of this year. Right now, I average about 1000 a month but I want to boost that to 10,000 a month.
Ugh, basically the whole office knows about mine and Igor’s relationship. Well the big mouths of the office do, so everyone might as well know. It’s annoying that they draw attention to our relationship when they see us together. And they’re not even discreet about it. “Oh! Isn’t this cute!”, “Aww, is it date night tonight?”, “This is so sweet. I’m taking a picture!” Like fuck off! It’s literally none of anyone’s business but that’s what you get when you have a workplace relationship with someone. Fuck me.
I’m so pleased it’s Friday. This week has gone quickly, but Friday’s are always something to look forward to. I’m going out with Igor tomorrow. We’ll be travelling to a city to the North of our little town to meet up with his friend Csaba. He too is from Igorland and has known Igor for years. He’s actually the friend I met when Igor first took me to the city to the North back in November – our unofficial first date.
Anyway, I’m looking forward to the months to come. I’m going to be buying my first property and by force I’ll pass my driving test, just need to continue with driving lessons first. Good things are coming this way. I feel so excited for my future. I see success, I see love and I see happiness.
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Oh my goodness. Did I just imagine myself having Igor’s babies? Like in my head I saw him helping me pick out paint for the baby’s room. Whoa…! Ok granted, I was literally watching a similar scene on Netflix but like the imagery came into my head unbidden.
The thing is, I feel very comfortable with the thought. It feels right. Like I feel he would make a good father. I don’t know. Now I feel silly.
Ok no more random thoughts. Let’s remain thoughtless for the duration of the episode.