I have been sleepy for the whole day. It’s like I’m yet to properly wake up even though it’s 11 at night. I did get back a little late from the salsa and bachata social party and woke up early for a house viewing but I’m sure I got at least 6 hours sleep. To be honest I haven’t been sleeping well all week, so that doesn’t help.
I’m in CapitalCity this weekend, spending it at home with my family. We all went out for a meal, which was nice. I made sure we didn’t use our phones at the table.
Anyway, I told my mother I wanted to be single for a year and she recited to me some Fridarian proverb about if you close your eyes saying you want to wait for something, when something perfect comes along, you’ll be so focused on keeping your eyes shut that you’ll miss out on it. Either way I don’t feel like I’m in a position for love. I want it, of course I do. But I’m worried about what it’ll do to me.
Let me just live my life and see what happens.
Something weird has been happening recently. When I read fantasy books, I get transported to another world – that’s a given. But with the current book I’m reading, I feel like it’s happening for real. Like I feel it happening around me. I’ve been reading so much recently that maybe that line between reality and fiction is becoming blurred. I wonder if there’s such thing as using books as an escape. Like how people use alcohol. Can reading become unhealthy? Is that a thing? That’s definitely something to research.
I have a stye in my eye and it’s hurts. It’s annoying me and doesn’t help my sleepiness.
But I must sleep! I need to sleep! And have sex. Why haven’t I mentioned sex in a very long while? I haven’t done it since Igor and I broke up. Sometimes I want it, sometimes I don’t. But the urge isn’t so strong. I just want sex to mean something now. So I’m willing to wait.
I told my mother that, after thinking back, I felt mine and Jomi’s relationship was child’s play, that there was no romance. She said that I was a lot more mature than him. We definitely experienced a touch of puppy love, which is nice, but it’s time for an adult relationship. Maybe I need an older man, 30+? Ew. But maybe not so ew. Perhaps they can give me what I’m looking for. At least they’d be more serious about settling down.
I’ve been listening to A Lot Like Birds all day! I’m a bit sad that they’ve split up so I’m never going to see them perform live. Annoying! But I’m definitely searching for the next concert to go to. I’m thinking Issues. Good band. Good sound.