What the F. Yesterday’s sex sucked! I got a bit upset when I wasn’t wet enough and hurt his penis because my vag was basically dry and then I refused to have sex. I sat on top of him sulking and refused to move because I’d caused him pain and I didn’t want my terribly dry vagina to hurt him some more. We did have sex but I was just so sad that I couldn’t focus. I don’t even know if I’m making sense but just know that I am deeply distressed by the fact that I cannot consistently get wet with him. I wouldn’t even say there was a mind block, but there was definitely anxiety to perform as well as I did on Sunday. It’s always a fucking cycle.
Let’s write this shit out. I don’t really know what other pep talk I can give myself, I’ve exhausted my internal emotional support system, but I’ll give it a go.
*** Positivity Zone Open ***
I am not sexual deficient. I am not sexually defunct. I am a healthy, young and attractive 25 year old woman. I have a banging bod with amazing breasts. My vagina is great!
*** Positivity Zone Close ***
That was a shitty pep talk. I really don’t know what else to tell myself. All I know is that I need to stop putting so much pressure on myself. I need to do better to be confident and believe that I am normal. I want to be comfortable with my own sexuality and trust that Igor finds me sexy.