I loved him. It was hard but I loved him all the same. I would do anything for him. The way my world revolved around him, he was a sure thing.
He meant too much to me. I put my everything into him. Unconditionally. He was my best friend. The love of my life.
Being in this city I’m living that love all over again. And with it my heart breaks like its the first time. The sweet memories bring nothing but bleakness. And I want to cry.
My best friend…
I can’t believe this is what has become of us. We were meant to be forever. And now I have to rebuild from scratch but I don’t have the strength. I can’t support something that will just end in heartbreak.
I’ve moved on. But the memories still hurt. So I guess I really haven’t.
* * *
I know I’m having a huge moment of weakness. I know I don’t really want him but right now all I can understand is the hurt in my heart and nothing makes senses. He’s not for me. But I’m refusing to remember that.
Yes, the urge to reach out to him is strong. So strong. But it’s not what I need or even want. I need to just continue to give this time.