No stressing. Just pure, unadulterated happiness all around. It’s good to just mentally and emotionally relax. I’ve been putting too much pressure on myself these past few days by ruminating over the same thing time and time again. But I’m free. No stress. Just peace.
Everyone has their shit but competing with yourself is not going to help matters. Just letting things flow naturally is the way to go and you’d be surprised what can happen. I’m happy. The thing is, I know this, but I can’t help but stress. It’s something I’m trying to change. But it has been ingrained in me for the longest time and it’s a hard habit to break. But baby steps.
So I changed my WhatsApp profile picture to a photo of me and Igor and obviously the questions came rolling in – WHO IS HE?! WHAT’S HIS NAME? HOW DID YOU MEET? And this is from family. Needless to say, they’re happy for me. I’m happy for me too. I’ve always had a good feeling about Igor and I. Right from the start. And it’s nice when others feel it too.
You know when people just know that someone is the one for them before really knowing them? Intuition and whatnot? Well if Igor ends up being my forever-person then I would have totally called it. I just have a nice feeling about everything. I really do suspect that he is but I don’t want to put too much expectation on this and then get hurt if it doesn’t work out. So for now, he’s just a potential, alongside the billion other of age men on the planet.
And yes, I will go to Scotland to visit his brother. Meh.
I’ve also decided that today is Dera Appreciation Day. I’m taking myself on a date. Going to sit with a nice book in a chilled restaurant and enjoy some Dera time and alcohol!
Igor totally said we should go to Portugal sometime in the New Year – like in January. Hmmm! Anyway, I’m literally the clumsiest person I know. I think it’s because I just can’t keep still. I’m always moving or touching something. That’s why I constantly spill stuff or hurt myself. I’m an actual hazard. I need danger signs around me.
* * *
So my results from the sexual health clinic came back.
I’M ALL CLEAR MOTHERFUCKEERSS!!
I don’t know why I always assume the worst of myself. I knew I was clean but then again, I’m a fucking masochist – I doubt myself because I clearly like the unnecessary stress. It’s like I’d do anything to sabotage my own happiness. Well at least I now know that I’m not contaminated. I win!
Not even joking. Igor is the last guy I’m sleeping with.