I give up.
Half my mind is telling me to play the long game and go into a role that is way below me just so that I can progress into something much better (eventually) and the other half is telling me that I’m too educated to settle for something that someone without a degree can do.
It’s so difficult. I don’t know what to do! And I’m really struggling to find a job.
My master’s degree in engineering wasn’t for nothing. Nor is my three years’ experience at the hell hole I’m currently working at. I don’t know what the right decision is. I just don’t want to be stuck in a junior role forever. I don’t want to get pregnant in a year’s time while in a junior role and then come back from maternity leave at the age of 29 still in a junior role! I need to make that next move up but nothing has come my way. I’m just frustrated and I do want to cry a little bit. I feel so demoralised that the best I can get is something below me.
On the good side of thing, Telis and I have found a place together. It’s an absolutely amazing property. It’s a two bedroom house with four floors and a garden and at the end of the garden is a river!! I can’t wait to move in with him. We have had some trouble recently, again, due to the whole attraction thing. Last Saturday I almost broke up with him because every time I looked at him I just saw someone that I didn’t physically like. We slept apart that night. It was sad. We’re ok now. I do really love him. Maybe I just got scared about the fact that we were moving in together. I’ve never done that with anyone before.
Saturday was pretty eventful to be honest. We viewed some properties, and also had a dinner party with Telis‘ friend and his girlfriend. It was fun to an extent – I just wasn’t in the right frame of mind considering I was on the precipice of breaking up with my boyfriend.
But all I want is a new job that I’m qualified for!