Tomorrow!!
We get the keys to our new place tomorrow! Which means, of course, that I did some last minute sabotaging. I told Telis that guaranteeing a future with him was difficult because what if I really didn’t love him and was deluding myself into thinking he was right for me. That I couldn’t look past the present without feeling scared that something would go wrong and I’d get hurt. That if he proposed to me I’d probably run away because what if I’m making the wrong decision again.
Basically all the usual crap. And right on schedule.
But this really is such a huge step in our relationship, and commitment is required but can’t be guaranteed, and that’s scary.
Anyway, I’m ok now. We’re ok. He gets it. It’s not easy, but like I said before, I’m taking each day as it comes.
I scratched Nebby on Friday because some idiot has left their van parked right in front of where I park my car, which makes it very difficult to go into and out of the parking bay. I took a picture of the vehicle and sent an email to whoever’s in charge of parking in that area, letting them know how hazardous the van is and that something should be done about it.
Anyway, that motherfucker isn’t important. I’ve downloaded dating apps on my phone on Vish’s behalf and this week he actually got two matches. I’m just the swiper but it’s his responsibility to talk to them because I’m not big on catfishing. One of his matches is a 40 year old lady, and considering Vish is 33, she’s definitely a bit of a cougar.
It’s Telis‘ 30th birthday in two weeks but this is not the place to divulge what I have planned for him, providing I actually have something planned *nudge* *nudge* *wink* *wink*.
I’m thinking about trying for a baby after I’ve been at the new company for at lease one year. I’ll be 27 then, which is still an ok age. I just don’t want to wait too long before I start trying.
And speaking of my fertility, I have HPV. I have a low risk version but I’ve still been invited for a colposcopy. it’s annoying because some uncircumcised loser gave it to me. And I want to suspect Igor but it could very well have been Telis. But it doesn’t even matter. It’s so common and very low risk that it’s barely an issue. I just need to have it monitored, is all. I haven’t told my parents because I don’t want them to worry.
Now back to my career. I remember when one of my concerns was that for me to get hired anywhere, I’d have to move backwards in my career and go into an entry level role. I’m so glad that that is not the case. I’m hoping to get a nice bump in salary while traversing a new industry and role. Everything is falling into place!
I’m just so excited to see mine and Telis‘ new place tomorrow. I can’t wait! I’ve even started packing his stuff! I want us to be prepared. Tomorrow is the start of something new.
Telis has been working so hard at work and stressing even harder. He wants to get a promotion so that we can have a comfortable future. I just don’t want him to burn himself out. I appreciate the sentiment and I love that he’s thinking about us and how he can provide but one’s health is their wealth and he gets quite anxious so I just want him to take it easy.