I don’t even know what happened. How did I go from 0 to 100 in less than two heartbeats?
Today wasn’t what I was expecting. The fact that I’d arranged to meet up with a guy and not even mention it inside my journal or to a single friend prior to today just shows how unfazed I was about the whole thing.
Where do I start? With the fact that I wet myself, or the vomit all over my top. Or him kissing me?! Journal where?!!
The beginning, I suppose.
So we met up. Who? I hear you ask. Not saying.
Anyway, we met up. Went for drinks, sat and chatted. Found we had plenty in common. He was definitely on my wavelength but I’m not going to get ahead of myself, because #SingleForAYear.
We went to eat dinner, then went dancing at a restaurant/bar venue.
Walking is something we both enjoy doing so we strolled towards the playground where we laid down inside a basket swing. Me in his arms (this has happened before with a guy in the past. In fact he works in the same company as another guy whom I was once seeing – I also met him in eerily similar circumstances. The point is, he is a repeat of things I’ve experienced in my past, actions, not personality). That’s where he first kissed me.
At this point my bladder was at it’s bursting point. We power walked to a bar where I dashed for the toilet, before the flood gates opened a few meters short of the toilet. Most of it went on me, some found itself on the toilet seat and the small remainder ended up inside the toilet. Annoyingly there were no tissues so I couldn’t even wipe myself.
I returned with my anxiety through the roof. My mouth went suddenly dry and I started feeling sick. I said I wanted water and he went to get me some. While he was away, I threw up in my mouth twice. Both times swallowing it back down. Unfortunately, some ended up on my top and I hadn’t realised until he had returned. I was already feeling self conscious from the wee all over me, and he goes in to kiss me and all I can think about is the vomit in my mouth. I then eventually realise I have some on my top and I die and hope that he hasn’t seen it. I wipe the vomit and now have a stain on my top – so embarrassing.
Of course I go inside my head. I’m thinking about what he’s thinking of me. I’m cringing within myself and trying not to be a major stress head! I’ve already embarrassed myself, pissed myself, soiled myself with vomit. I can’t deal.
So he walks me home and I invite him in. I have some things from work that I need to complete and email, so I work on that very quickly while he reads one of my novels. We chat, listen to music, kiss and I’m feeling a little better after changing my top, but I’m still in my urine soaked jeans. Boo!
When something happens that makes you feel a bit embarrassed it can ruin the good experiences shared. I don’t want to focus on that. So tomorrow, once I’m over it, I will rewrite the story of today and focus on the conversation and all the good that happened.