Monday, 19 March, 2018

I don’t know how to stop hurting. Life just hurts. I feel so alone and I don’t know how to stop all this pain.

Yesterday I spiralled. I went to the river. I wanted to die.

I have nowhere I feel safe. I have no consistency. Even my own boyfriend triggers me. He’s meant to be my safe place and he’s not. I’m just hurting so much.

I know why people self harm. The emotional pain gets too much and you just want something tangible to focus on. Something constant. Something that’s yours.

I want to scream. Shout. I want to feel safe. Safe in someone. But I’m alone. I can’t think of anyone to turn to to hold me. To tell me it’s ok. I just want to be held.

I just want warm arms around me.

I need a confidant. Someone. Anyone.

Help me.