I think I had a breakdown. I spiralled. My anxiety was high, I was overthinking everything and completely lost the ability to make decisions because I couldn’t trust myself. My stress levels went through the roof and I clearly wasn’t dealing with it very well.
I’m not going to say I’m better. But I’m feeling again. My emotions are back and I feel fine. I literally felt so overwhelmed. I’d go from high to low to even lower. Really, my emotional and mental health were compromised. And that’s bad. I need to do better to know when I’m getting in a state so I can deal with it before it escalates.
Sometimes I don’t even realise it’s happening. I just feel like it’s external factors basically influencing my emotions but most of the time it’s my overthinking that convinces me that there’s a problem with everything in my life.
This is a recent thing for me. It only started happening before I broke up with my ex. So it’s all new and the fact that I have some underlying issues is something that I need to be aware of and deal with.
This is the dark place I was talking about. The one I was doing my damned hardest to avoid. I failed. Miserably. But it’s fine. I’m fine.