My body has been silent. Eerily silent. My period is due in two/three days and I don’t have any acne breakouts, nor do my boobs hurt, at all. Not even a little bit. What’s going on?
Is my hormonal system broken? Am I broken? Did the emergency pill break me? Oh dear. What if I didn’t ovulate this month and my whole cycle is now forever messed up? Or what if I won’t have a period at all? Because…
Anyway I’m reaching, let me stop.
Today is a day of exes. I returned to Igor his sweater that I had in my possession and I wished Jomi happy birthday. The end.
I’ve been learning Telis’ language. I’ve never attempted to learn a language when it wasn’t compulsory, but for Telis, I will do this. I’ve even bought an app to learn from. I’d love to speak his language, he can speak mine, so it’s only fair. But then again, everyone can speak English – but that doesn’t matter! For Telis, I’ll try.
I’m progressing quite well. I’m already familiar with the alphabet and can read and write words, next step is the hard bit; actually understanding them. But it’s only been two days. When Telis returns, we can start communicating in his language.
* * *
So I’ve just found out that my friend Kirby has been in hospital because he almost died, and that’s why I haven’t been able to get through to him. Not good. He says he’s ok, but I’ll go and see him tomorrow anyway.
* * *
I’m pressing my breasts just to make sure there’s some sort of pain in them. But there isn’t. I’m pretty regular with my PMS so it’s so weird that I’m not getting any this month. I know, I know, I complain when I have it and complain when I don’t. It’s just strange that’s all. Usually around this time in my cycle I can barely walk around braless without every little movement causing agony throughout my breasts.
It’s probably just one of those months you know. It’s just my body being weird and non-conforming to it’s own norms, nothing to worry about… But what if the pill did break me? Dammit!
Or what if…
No.
* * *
Today I’ve been feeling a little bit meh. I think I’m just generally tired but I’m also feeling a little anxious. I think it could do with my driving test on Wednesday. I have every right to be nervous; it’s my third attempt. But I’m also cranky and have a headache. Perhaps I’m finally PMSing. Perhaps I’m not. I just want to sleep. Not really in the mood to be awake.
I messaged a bit with Jomi. It was a simple conversation. We just exchanged pleasantries and went through the whole small chat spiel. There was a lot to be desired in that conversation. I spoke with Telis; my baby with the squidgy face. He has his own anxieties and I wish that today I were a little bit more cheerful so that I could transfer some glee over to him but I just feel bleh.
I’m going to sleep.