Boundaries.
I spoke to both Junior and Sana about my dilemma today. Junior said I should give him a chance but keep strict boundaries. Sana said I should date around but keep boundaries.
Therefore, I’m here to set the boundaries and rules for myself. I’m not making mistakes already made in the past.
So here goes:
- We should see each other only once a week on a set day when we’re both available. Spontenaeity is allowed, but not too often.
- No sexual contact. Minimal kissing.
- Don’t invest too much emotion into the relationships.
- Live in the moment. Don’t overthink or let anxiety take over.
- Keep the status of the relationship clear always.
- Be honest about feelings and don’t be afraid to say no.
- Keep a check on my emotional health. Understand that how I’m feeling is not always a result of me but sometimes how the other person is making me feel.
- Be cautious.
- Take it slow.
- Don’t share too much.
The guy whom I’m still yet to name has made me feel safe enough and reassured me to a point where I don’t feel as anxious at the prospect of dating. He’s shown me a good time where everything was easy and he’s kept his boundaries, except for kissing me all the time. I’ll give getting to know him a chance, but I won’t be exclusive with him and I’ll let him know that.
* * *
I changed my conch piercing from a curved barbell to a straight one and the bump that’s been troubling me since I got it has gone down! My piercings don’t like curves. It’s annoying!
I also had my second meetup today! It was a book club and my co-host took the lead. It was nice. It’s just so good to bring people together over something we all love.
The guy whom I am seeing loves books. He’s actually reading one of my books so at least once he finishes it we can discuss it.
I love how chilled I am when talking about him. I’m still yet to form an opinion on him. I’m not getting ahead of myself like I did with Igor. I want to get to know him. I’m pretty open and honest and comfortable with being vulnerable, but I should still be on guard whilst getting to know him. I don’t want him to take advantage of my inability to be mean, so maybe I would need to clad my heart in iron and allow for the steady erosion of love to coax it out.
Let’s see.
But first, he needs a name:
Telis
Welcome to my life Telis, I hope your chapter plays out wonderfully.