Maybe I’m being stupid. There are different forms of attraction and to say that I’m not attracted to Telis would be a blatant lie. I keep focusing on the things that I’m not so much attracted to and not the things that I am and all I’m doing is depressing myself.
I love him in ways that transcends the physical. The fact that he’s everything I’ve asked for and ever wanted in a man should be enough for me and even though he may not be packaged how I would have preferred, do I have any right to complain? I don’t think so. When I’m old and wrinkly, is it his looks that will sustain us?
Exactly.
I drove down to my parents for Easter, celebrating my mums 50th. The whole family was there, including aunties, uncles and cousins. She was so happy, considering the fact that she said she didn’t want to celebrate her birthday. Telis gifted her an old phone of his. It’s a Samsung Galaxy S8 to still somewhat relevant in this technological age.
Things with my marketplace is also picking up! I’ve put out an ad on Facebook and people have been signing up. I’ve had four sign ups today! I’m excited and equally anxious. I find myself sleeping to my racing heart every night and I’m just thinking how I’ll cope if things ever explode.
People who I have spoken to think it’s a good idea. And here comes the heart palpitations… See, all I have to do is think about it and the nerves kick in. But yes, people think it’s a good idea and I too also see much potential in it, especially since I have lots of people signing up after only a short time since launching! I mean, the website is pretty empty but I’m giving it a few months and things will change, for sure!
It was Junior’s daughters christening yesterday on Easter day. It was good seeing him and his little one. I also met one of his closest friends that he always talks about called Lota. I met Lota’s wife and little girl too! Me and his wife definitely hit it off and exchanged contact details. Seeing a young family puts a longing into my heart. It’s about time I decided where mine and Telis‘ relationship is going because I’m ready to settle down.
I’ve told Telis to pick a wedding date. I don’t think I want to be engaged again. I don’t trust myself and if I suddenly find that Telis isn’t for me, I don’t want to have to break up another engagement. Once is enough. I’m happy to just set a date and do the thing. But forever is a long time and I want to be confident that we’ll last that long, but that can’t be guaranteed with anyone ever. All I can promise is to try my hardest to work on the relationship and grow in love.
I was thinking about how I wanted to be successful by the time I was 25. Now, I’m going on 27 but I don’t mind that I’m not a millionaire. Between 24 and 25, I think I went through a lot and there was no time to build something huge. However, I am in a good place right now. My life isn’t so much in disarray. Being a YouTuber was fun but not sustainable – it wasn’t all a loss though, I’ve been able to use my following to sort of push my marketplace but it’s not enough.
YouTube is saturated but now I’m entering an untapped market doing something that is growing year on year. The whole peer-to-peer business model is booming and I want my share of it. All I can hope for is that it works out!
I have a job interview tomorrow. I should prepare, but meh.