Do you ever feel so directionless that you completely lose motivation to do anything? I have no drive. No passion. I feel like I’m just existing. I need to pull back the curtains and let it all come flooding back in. I need to take that first step. I’m better than this. I need to stop getting stuck in this rut. This ebb and flow of drive. I want each day to be packed with activity. The gym has to be the first step. I need to reorganise my life.
I think a change of routine messes things up for me. Leaving Igor and not knowing how to spend my unoccupied days probably left me feeling lazy. Not having that structure throws me off the balance I always create for myself. So I know what I need to do. I’m going to schedule each day so I know what I’m doing and when. Here goes nothing.
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The ball is rolling. I’ve replied to backlogged YouTube comments, written a blog post and contacted people who will be useful to my cause. Baby steps. Although I do want to cook when I get home, maybe I’ll do something craft related too.
My mind is clear. I’ve stopped thinking about Cymric because that’s how over it I am. I’ll eventually reach a point of equilibrium. Staying single as Tank suggested may be what I need for the foreseeable future. I’m going to work hard at rejecting any guy that comes my way, starting with the Italian.
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I’ve also just joined the gym!