I miss being Fridarian (my made up African country, plus today is Friday). I feel like I haven’t really done anything that pays homage to my culture. So tonight I’m going to indulge in some afrobeats and dance all evening. I’m from Fridaria, I have a culture and it’s important to me. Especially being able express that side of me.
Because I’m dating a guy who isn’t African doesn’t mean I shouldn’t show that side of me. My culture is rich and colourful. And it’s part of me.
I’m itching to dance now. I wonder if Igor can dance…
* * *
Thinking about it, maybe I was the one who put Igor up on a pedestal. Maybe I was so captivated by how well he treated me and how he made me feel as a person that I wanted perfection for him. Obviously I did my most when shown sub-par affection, so when it came to the above-par affection I was receiving, I had to do more than my most.
But then I went from captivated to captive. I was a prisoner of my own mind. And having those arguments really brought him down a few levels too. The pedestal wasn’t so high anymore.
Now I just see him as a normal human being treating me the way I deserve to be treated. And the best I can do is try for him. I may not always be my best self but I will strive to be.