I don’t understand. I was literally writing about how bland my life is on Thursday and suddenly on Friday I’m kissing guys, wetting myself and throwing up all over the place. It literally escalated from nowhere and I never saw it coming.
How it only takes one day for everything to change… It’s quite disturbing.
Trust my love story to start off so dramatically. No preamble, just dropping straight to the theatrics. Typical Dera.
It makes for a good story… I guess. But not in the moment when I’m soaked and ridiculously embarrassed.
This better be from God because I am not doing it again.
I hope it’s from God.
I mean…
I did ask Him.
I prayed for a healed heart and true love.
My heart healed.
Granted, I did break it again. But it healed.
And it keeps healing, just waiting for the next heartbreak.
But even as I wait, my hope never falters.
I know he’s out there.
And it’s when I am least expecting it that he will come.
Like how this unexpected romance blindsided me.
Strange.
I do hope it’s from God. Then I’ll know it’s real.
I want it to be real.
Please let it be real.
If it isn’t then please God, don’t let it go any further.
Please.
* * *
I don’t want to say that I believe in all that premonition stuff. I mean, I am reading a book that speaks repeatedly about omens and how things that happen in our lives are signs of what are yet to come.
I haven’t deeply thought about it but this has been in the back of my mind since Friday.
- I once met a guy back in 2016 at a salsa social party. We hit it off and decided to leave together. We walked down to a children’s playground and found ourselves talking about life, atop a basket swing with me in his arms. It wasn’t planned, it just happened. He didn’t kiss me but it was one of the single most romantic experiences of my life. I never met him again.
- I was involved with a guy who works at Company T. I met him at a young professionals meetup.
- Jomi, my ex fiancé, switched career paths and now works as a Data Scientist.
- I had a friend, named Cymric, who would talk with me about all things psychology, philosophy and life. He bought me a book, 1001 Nights.
Why I’m exploring this train of thought is beyond me, but maybe there are little things in life that point towards something life-changing. But let’s have a look:
- I went out with a guy last Friday. We walked down to a children’s playground and found ourselves talking about life, atop a basket swing with me in his arms. It wasn’t planned, it just happened. He kissed me.
- This guy works at Company T. I met him at a young professionals meetup.
- He recently switched career paths and now works as a Data Scientist.
- Me and him talk about all things psychology, philosophy and life. He bought me a book, The Alchemist.
Can you see the overlap? Perhaps I’m just reaching, but I haven’t been able to shake the feeling that there’s more at play here than I realise.
It could all just be a coincidence, or it could be one big sign pointing to something even bigger.
But it can’t be coincidence that The Alchemist book puts me in the mind of 1001 Nights. There are huge similarities between both books. Telis also mentioned to me, in the same sentence, the exact same two books that Cymric had once told me to read. I haven’t wanted to say it because I don’t like comparing people, but he reminds me too much of Cymric – since that first meeting, I’ve thought that but I’ve ignored it because I don’t want to get ahead of myself.
It also can’t be coincidence that I met him the exact same way that I met someone else and they both happen to work at the same company. Those two are the only people I’ve met that work at Company T.
Jomi recently became a data scientist. So did Telis. Again, I’ve never met any other data scientists. But the two I’ve met not so long ago switched to follow that new career path.
I had a repeat romantic experience and it ended in a way that the other one didn’t – with a kiss. How likely are night time strolls to repeat? Especially when both times I wasn’t the one leading the way. Both times I was led to that playground.
I don’t know, I really don’t want to start thinking crazy shit. Let’s just ignore everything and wait for my life to play out however it wants.
* * *
My mind is blown.
I’ve started delving into topics surrounding synchronicity, interconnectedness and chaos theory. I NEED to discuss this with someone. There’s a lot to explore and discover. My horizons must be broadened because I NEED to understand what is going on! I cannot wait to see Telis, I just want to be able to talk about these things with him.
I told Junior and my housemate Barney about what I’d experienced regarding Telis and the similarities in events I’d experienced with past lovers and asked them for their opinions. Junior reckons it’s not a coincidence and that my stars are aligning. Barney said that I have angels looking after me and that perhaps I’ve found my soulmate. I even told my sister Elfa and she said she’s “convinced” that I’ve found the one. How much of it she actually believes, I don’t know but at least she came to the same deduction as my friends.
Speaking of my sister, we video chatted for an hour. We spoke about life, relationships and sex. Apparently she’s had lots of it. Nice. Anyway! It was good to have an adult conversation with one of my sisters. She’s 20 – No longer a baby.
Today has been nice. I didn’t have any particular plans but I went out and played some tabletop games with a bunch of people. I chose that over a nationally anticipated afrobeats concert. My idea of fun needs to be reevaluated.
I can’t believe how much I’ve learnt since my first date with Telis. I like that he teaches me things. He messaged me today. We chatted briefly, I flirted (I think), and joked about with him. It left me giggling like a little school girl.
But what if my little moments of synchronicities are forewarnings? All those guys that I experienced those events with, it never worked out. Maybe seeing those similarities in Telis is a way to stop me from going further with him?
Anyway, I’m going to church tomorrow. Apparently…
Must sleep. Night!