My week was so good but only one thing spoiled it. I was driving my mother’s car to do some shopping for her and I went to park in a busy parking lot – lots of people and lots of cars. I found a space between two car and went in but I was a bit crooked so I moved to straighten out and the car (and I wouldn’t say hit) touched the car next to me. The old man driving the car was in the driver’s seat and he started pounding his fists on his window. I was like ‘oh fuck’. I apologised and moved forwards again and kept trying to adjust my position but I was feel tremendous stress and panic because I didn’t want to hit the guy’s car again so I pushed the gas too hard and crashed into the wall in front of me. At that point, I was done. The old man was just staring at me and all I could so was hide my head in my arms and try not to cry. I continued to try but the pressure was mounting. The old man then told me to straighten up, so I did and reversed backwards. I managed to get the car in straight and went about my day.
The old man kept rubbing at the side of his car like I’d scratched it. I don’t think I did. There were already numerous scratches there and I don’t think I moved the car that much along that side of his to scratch it. He told me it was fine and I apologised loads. I literally left traumatised. I’m used to controlling a car using the clutch but when driving an automatic, all you have is the gas and the breaks and I was still adjusting to knowing how much pressure to use on each pedal. The experience left me shaken and I’ve decided I want my own small, manual car – something more manageable. But overall, my driving experience this week wasn’t so bad.
When I arrived home to CapitalCity on Friday, I went shopping with my sister and managed to park the car into the bay in my first attempt – I was proud of that. It was easier that I was only parking beside one car and not between two. We then drove to my cousins’ place and I parallel parked like a boss. Then I picked them up too and we all drove to my other cousins’ place. It was fun driving others and I’d very much love to continue driving, albeit with a smaller and less automatic car.
Now, the good bits of my week. I had my interview at the start up on Friday. It went so well! They asked me questions that I knew the answer too and a coding question that I could solve. I’m really hoping for the best. I’d love to work there. The vibe is everything! It’s young and trendy and exactly what you’d describe as millennial. I really hope I get it. I’ve already drafted my resignation letter in my head:
Dear [Boss],
I will be leaving [the company].
Kind regards,
Dera
I don’t think I need to further elaborate as to why. I did Google petty but professional ways to quit but I guess diplomacy wins and so to prevent me regurgitating bullshit I don’t believe in, I will keep the letter brief and to the point. I can’t wait to leave this hell hole. If I get to the next stage of the interview process I will approach HR about my position and broach the subject of redundancy.
Is it bad that I don’t find Telis’s tubbiness attractive? Well he knows now. He knows how I feel and how I want to change everything about him – appearance wise. I feel bad. I don’t know if that makes me a bad girlfriend or someone who just wants the best for their boyfriend. Anyway, it was a difficult conversation for me, but he appreciate my honesty and he said I could change him within reason. All I want for him is just to look after himself better. Take pride in his appearance and keep himself looking presentable. I told him I just want us to look sexy together.
I’d never ever ask him to change who he is as a person. I love him most for that, but the physical is still so important and I don’t want to be constantly questioning my attraction to him. He’s perfect for me and if his appearance is all I’m changing, I can’t be that terrible? Just his clothes, shoes, hair, and body – and by body, I mean to a form that’s much healthy and less overweight. I’m even going to get him laser skin resurfacing to help with the scars around his face. He said he wants to change, not for me, but for himself and I guess as long as he’s willing I’ll leave him to it.
I haven’t been sleeping properly since last week. I’ve been really struggling and I think it’s down to anxiety. Last night was a little better, I had earphones in all night listening to white noise. I don’t know how much it helped but this was probably the best sleep I’ve had for a long while and it was still pretty bad. Sleeping next to Telis helped. He relaxes me.
We’re going to Paris this weekend for my 26th! A few more days and I’m an older old woman, yay! But Paris will be a welcome break from life. And good thing my period started on Saturday; I get to have birthday sex for the first time in my life! The only annoying thing is that we get a twin room with two separate beds. I want to sleep with my baby! Hopefully we can get the rooms changed when we arrive.
For the most part, life is amazing. All inconveniences I’ve faced have been minor and all the changes that are being made have been for the better. I can’t wait for Telis to join me in CapitalCity (providing I get the job) and we can start our life together. If I can tick the third box, my year will be complete.
All before my 26th birthday I will:
☑ Launch my website
☑ Pass my driving test
🗸 Get a job offer