I want to give this relationship a chance, I really do, but I see myself pulling away more and more.
And of course we had another argument today… at work.
But whatever. I can’t be bothered anymore. I’ve created some distance between us now – we’re no longer allowed to meet up during work breaks, I’ll no longer stay over at his place and vice versa and I’ll only spend a few hours (max 2 hours) with him after work and/or on the weekends.
Basically it’ll be a long distance relationship without the distance. I’m just tired of having my mood ruined. I was in such a happy and chirpy place today then 10 minutes with him and I already borderline wanted to cry and my mood switched back to it’s depressive state.
If I want to go one day where I’m happy with no disruption to my emotions then I need to stay away from him. I’m fed up of arguing. It’s always over little things but it’s still so emotionally draining.
It’s like every little thing that gets said or done annoys either me or him and all hell breaks loose.
The obvious thing to do would be to walk away… At least, it’s the easiest thing to do but I want to try. I don’t want to give up when the slightest bit of animosity shows up. But, I don’t know, maybe this is getting out of hand? Maybe we’re just not meant to be.
I know he wants to be with me, and he’s a very lovely guy but I can’t keep dancing this tango with him.
My heads not in it anymore. Once he looses my heart, I’m out.