I’m actually too excited to see Telis on Wednesday. I’m in two minds about telling him of all the signs that seem to point to him. I don’t know if he’d be freaked out. But if he’s meant to be mine, then I guess nothing I say can scare him away. I’ll tell him and then I’ll come back here to tell of how it backfired on me.
* * *
Is it Wednesday yet?
This whole synchronicity thing is a lot for my logical brain to come to terms with. The way I’m speaking as if I fully believe fate is a thing. That a love between two people is written in the stars. I sound crazy to myself when I think that all these signs point to something big. I want to believe it. I really do. I’m not one to turn my back on new ideas and theories. And as absurd as this does sound, I’m going to fully invest in it. I’ll give it a chance, see what comes of it.
I’ll assume that the universe is trying to tell me something and perhaps by doing so, I’ll witness the biggest love story in all of eternity unfold around me – and it’ll be my story. (Or the biggest calamity of mankind, but hey, let’s think positive).
* * *
I sense heartbreak.
But I also sense infinite love.
This is going to hurt.
* * *
I’m still so befuddled about how sudden all of this is. The fact that for the past few weeks, absolutely nothing was happening in my life then suddenly everything was happening.
It all came at a time when I started accepting things about myself. I accepted that I am different. I accepted that I am naive. I accepted that getting hurt was part of the package of being me. I accepted my brief experience of something complete. I accepted the loss of a friend. And I stopped looking for love. I wished for it with all my heart but I accepted that it would happen when the time is right. And I believed it.
* * *
Reading through, my journal has an overarching theme of loneliness and love. It’s clear what’s most important for me in this life – to feel accepted, to love and be loved.
That’s all I want…